Hare Guide

A tedious and exhaustive reference for FUCH3 hares.

Before You Hare

  1. Contact Hare Raiser and sign up to hare.
  2. Update event pages with location and other details at least 3 days before the hash.
    • Actively update both the Facebook AND Meetup event pages with any changes you make.
    • Make sure any applicable bars (especially the meetup bar) are open at the time of the hash.
  3. Contact Beer Meister and arrange to pick up coolers/flour bags at least 3 days before the hash.
  4. STOCK THE COOLERS WITH PLENTY OF BEER, CIDER, AND WATER if the Beer Meister didn’t top them off.
    • At FUCH3, we always go for CANS of Hamm’s beer and Smith & Forge cider White Claw!!! when available. Avoid glass!
    • Always overshoot it; beer doesn’t go bad before we drink it. Rule of thumb: assume each person will have 1 beverage per stop, plus 2-3 at Circle - Roughly one completely full cooler per 10 people on a 2-stop + Circle trail.
    • A full cooler should be mostly beer with 6+ ciders and 8+ waters. This is what people are paying for, so make sure they get their money’s worth.
    • Always put more in the Circle cooler.
    • You will be reimbursed for cooler-stocking purchases. Keep your receipts!
  5. Get chalk and flour for trail and ice for the coolers.
    • The Beer Meister should have giant white chalk available for you, but if they don’t, grab a box of Crayola from Walmart. Have at least 1 giant stick (or 3+ regular sticks) per mile of trail.
    • Make sure you have at least 5 lbs. of flour per 3 miles of trail (more if it’s largely off-road).
    • Again, overshoot it; you don’t want to run out.
    • You will be reimbursed for these purchases as well. Keep your receipts!
  6. Do not exceed $25 in “other” hash-related expenses.
    • In addition to all of the above, we will reimburse you up to $25 for other reasonable (ask!) trail purchases (e.g. Jell-O shots, trail food, strippers, theme-related crap, etc.). Keep your receipts!
    • Anything over $25 will come out of your own pocket.
  7. Get permission from MisManagement for any bar stops.
    • These are much more expensive than drinking our own beer, so use them sparingly. They also require more hash cash to be present on trail, so give us a h*ads up.
  8. Secure the coolers!
    • The combination for all provided locks is the same and will be provided by the Beer Meister.
    • If you drop them in a public place beforehand, make sure they are locked shut, as well as locked TO something (bench, tree, etc.) or very well hidden.

After You Hare

9. FULLY DRAIN COOLERS, REMOVE TRASH, AND LET THEM DRY!!!

    • Remove any empty/opened beverages that got thrown in there.
    • Completely drain the water (just opening the plug still leaves an inch or so of water in there). Use one of the locks to lock the cooler shut, crack the lid, then tilt it upside-down to get all the water out without having to remove all the beer.
    • Store them OPEN so they don’t get moldy. Do not leave them in a hot car for days.

10. PROMPTLY return the coolers, locks, and flour bags to the Beer Meister.

    • You should be returning 2 coolers, 2 padlocks, 2 cable locks, and 2 flour bags.
    • If handing them off directly to the next hares, consolidate everything into one location. Next week’s hares shouldn’t have to make 3 stops because you didn’t return the coolers on time.

Don't Forget The...

  1. Trail maps (1+ copy per hare)
  2. Chalk Talk layout
  3. Coolers
  4. Padlocks/cable locks for coolers
  5. Ice for coolers
  6. Flour bags (5+ lbs/3 miles)
  7. Chalk (1+ BIG stick/mile or 3+ regular/mile)
  8. Extra chalk nubs for hounds
  9. Trash bags for Beer Checks
  10. Drop bags and fishhook booze (if applicable)

Hare Rules

  • Virgin hares must always run with an experienced hare.
  • Trails should generally be 3-5 miles.
    • Thursday Full Moon Hashes should be shorter. 2-4 miles, 1 Beer Check (2 if super quick) + Circle.
    • Trails can be a bit longer or shorter, depending on the situation, but give MM a h*ads up.
  • Do not lay trail with blue, purple, or dark-colored chalk.
    • These colors are barely visible, especially at night. Give them to the hounds to mark Checks.
    • We strongly prefer you lay trail using white chalk only - available from the BM(!).
  • Every trail should have at least one Beer Check (or similar) before Circle.
    • (Otherwise, we’re just a running club with a drinking problem.)
  • Do not lay trail through private property or restricted areas.
    • For example, do not go through the yards of potential dog/gun owners.
    • Do not expect hashers to hop locked fences or cross barriers clearly meant to keep us out.
    • Avoid railroad tracks (see section below).

Planning Your Trail

  • Design your trail such that walkers and runners get to the Beer Checks at the same time.
    • This should be the main focus of your trail.
    • More circular trails lend themselves well to turkey trails, whereas out-and-back type trails will have to use Check Backs, YBFs, etc. to keep everyone together.
    • Avoid long straightaways (more than ~3 blocks) without Checks or other fuckery.
  • Keep people moving while keeping them together.
    • The best way to do this is with lots of Checks of any form (as well as Check Backs and YBFs).
    • Nobody likes to just stand around waiting for people to catch up, so don’t make people do it unless you need to. Keep the runners running and the walkers walking. This is especially important during winter!
    • Do not lay all-stop marks (e.g. Song Stop All) – use a reasonable number. 4-6 usually works just fine. The only time the FRB should have to stand around waiting for the DFL is at a Beer Check.
    • If you’re just worried about getting caught, ask for a longer h*ad start; we’d rather wait at the bar than on trail.
  • Limit the number of “other” marks you use on trail.
    • Having too many different marks is confusing to virgins and visitors and shifts the focus away from what our group actually is – a drinking club with a running problem.
    • Pick a few (≤ 6) for your trail and ignore the rest; no one will be disappointed by not having every mark they’ve ever seen on trail.
    • Think about the purpose of each mark. E.g. Scenic Views and Song Stops serve an almost identical purpose. Having both on the same trail is needlessly adding another mark for newcummers to memorize.
    • Only use maybe 2-3 per mile; we don’t need (or want) to do something goofy on every block.
    • You can lay a perfectly good trail without using any of these marks (many kennels do).
  • Scout out your area before you lay trail! Always assume there’s a fence.
  • A-A and A-A’ (walking distance from start) trails are always preferable, but not required.

Laying Your Trail

  • Use marks purposefully, not just to troll the hounds (for the most part).
    • Use a Scenic View because the hounds are right on your ass or there’s a long straightaway and Checks aren’t an option, not just because you feel like you haven’t laid one in a while.
    • No one will ever seriously complain about not having enough Wave Stops on trail, for example.
  • There should be at least 2 marks per city block on True Trail. Don’t forget to drop!
    • After a block or two without seeing marks, the hounds will begin to question whether or not they're on trail and maybe even start backtracking to look for a missed turn. They will also hate you and your trail. Don't let this happen.
  • In general, limit your false trails off of a Check to about a block.
    • I.e. the third mark (True) should usually be found before or at the next intersection.
    • Checks are great for keeping people together, but if your falses are super long, the person who found True is now way ahead, and those who checked false trails are way behind.
    • If someone checks down to the next intersection and doesn't see a third (or at least second) mark AT that intersection, they're probably going to turn around and assume it's a false trail.
  • Lay lots of arrows, especially approaching a Check.
    • Flour blobs alone are directionless and can result in people getting lost/running trail backwards.
  • Clearly mark your turns!
    • If the trail isn’t going straight (e.g. 90° turns or crossing to the other side of the street), you need to drop an arrow, leading marks, or a Check.
  • Make your marks (especially Checks) large, visible, and in-line with preceding marks.
    • Hashers have a 30° field of vision and will continue running straight unless a bold mark directly in front of them says otherwise.
    • Marks should be in plain sight, except for right after a Check, in which case you might want to hide the first few marks. Be reasonable; the point is so the hounds can’t see the True Trail from the Check. Don’t hide marks so well that hounds can’t/won’t see them as they run by them.
  • Always lay trail on sidewalks when possible, rather than in the street.

Beer Checks and Circle

  • In genital, there should not be much more than 2-ish miles of True Trail between Beer Checks.
    • Not a hard rule, just know that the hounds’ hatred for you and your trail starts to grow very rapidly after 2 boozeless miles.
    • Also, the further you go, the more difficult it is to keep walkers and runners together.
    • About 1.5 (±0.5) miles per leg seems to strike a good balance on most trails.
  • Keep the hash moving. Don't linger too long at Beer Checks if you still have more trail to lay.
  • Leave water or a chaser with your Drop Bags/Shot Stops, especially if they’re just hard liquor.
  • Make sure Beer Check/Circle locations are weather-appropriate and won’t draw unwanted attention.
  • Always try to use hash beer – use bar stops sparingly, unless it’s super cold/shitty.
  • If Circle must be at a bar, make sure it’s a bar where that is acceptable.
    • E.g., Murphy’s and the Brass Rail are okay for this.
    • Make sure they have cheap beer available.
    • Avoid places with any amount of class (basically, anywhere with a server).

Notes on Weather

  • Your trail should adapt to the weather.
  • Cold/shitty weather hashes should be shorter. Consider cutting a section of trail if the forecast sucks.
    • We hash in the rain/snow/cold, but if the weather is really unpleasant, nobody wants to run a 6-mile, 4-stop, fully outdoor trail.
    • Feel free to lay a 2 mile trail in this case.
  • Winter hashes are very different from summer hashes (and you should hare them differently).
    • On a warm summer day, feel free to hang out at the Beer Checks and let the trail drag on a bit longer than usual.
    • On a cold, shitty day, GTFO soon after the pack arrives at the Beer Check and save the goofy side activities for a better day.
    • Keep people moving! Standing still outside (especially holding a cold beer) for too long in the winter sucks.
    • There is very limited daylight. It gets even colder when the Sun sets, and people don't usually think to bring a light with them at 2:00pm on a Saturday, so don't plan a 3 hour trail.
  • If rain is a possibility, lay trail using heavy amounts of flour only (chalk erases immediately).
  • If there’s snow on the ground, color your flour with “Strait-Line” chalk (ask the BM) or something like Kool-Aid.

Notes on Railroad Tracks

  • Our trails have gone down and across tracks many times in the past and will probably do so several more times in the future, but remember:
    1. Being on the tracks (except for at designated crossings) is technically illegal and can result in fines/legal action.
    2. It is dangerous.
  • So minimize the amount of time spent on the tracks, as well as our visibility to the world (e.g. don’t run us across a train bridge over a busy street).
  • If possible, lay trail off to the side instead (this is where most will be running anyway since running on the tracks is a pain in the ass).
  • If you must lay trail ON the tracks, stick to leaving marks on one side (not alternating or in the middle). This way the people running off to the side can still follow and not miss the tiny Check you drew on one of the crossbeams.

(Not) Getting caught

  • At some kennels, catching the hare is the goal, and whoever catches you gets to take your pants. Not here.
  • It might seem counterintuitive considering the “game” we’re playing, but we don’t want to catch you. Not until you’ve led us to beer!
    • If we do catch you, it’s a small victory for the FRB, but it usually just means we have to stand around in the middle of nowhere giving you another head(!) start. Sounds like a lose-lose.
  • If you're slow (or the hounds are fast) and you think you might get caught, ask for a longer head(!) start. 15 minutes? No problem.
  • You can usually hear the hounds a ways back (what with the yelling and whistling). If you think you’re about to get caught, you have some options:
    • Drop a Song Stop/Scenic View 8-10 or similar (only if you explained it at Chalk Talk).
    • Start dropping Checks with no falses (and a reasonably devious True); just speed on through.
    • Cut part of your trail and just get us to the beer.
    • Run faster (last resort).
  • If you do get caught (it happens), you have some options:
    • If you happen to have some beer/booze on you, hand it over and tell them to enjoy the impromptu beer stop while you finish trail.
    • If it’s just one overachiever way ahead of everyone else, hand her a piece of chalk and put your new helper hare to work.
    • If you’re close to the beer anyway, just lead the pack the rest of the way.

Dead Trails

  • Much of this page is written assuming you're haring a live trail, but there's nothing wrong with laying a dead trail. There are just some things to keep in mind for dead trails:
    • Advantages:
      • Dead trails usually have more people (i.e. the hares) on trail, which is especially nice if there's low turnout that day.
      • You can't get caught, and we can't get lost (if you're with us).
      • You're less likely to screw up the trail because you're not being chased.
      • No one has to wait to give you a head(!) start.
    • Disadvantages:
      • Weather will screw you. If it rains/snows between you laying trail and the start of the hash, you're probably going to have to re-lay it live anyway.
      • You need to have your shit together and start laying trail hours before the hash.
      • People can see/spoil your trail before/on the way to the hash (not usually an issue).
  • You should give yourself AT LEAST 30 minutes per mile to lay trail before the start of the hash (more if you're walking).
  • Watch the weather forecast; you need a backup plan (live trail) if there's any chance of rain.
  • If you're running/walking trail with the hounds, just play dumb at all the Checks. But if the DFL gets to the Check before it's solved, mark the right way and continue.
  • Make sure your marks are big and very bold.
    • They need to last a lot longer on dead trails. Even just high winds and foot traffic can erase light chalk marks over the course of several hours.